Eye Appointment

- Hello, [lengthy place-of business ID and greeting], how may I help you?
- - Hi, I'd like to schedule an eye exam. When can I come in?
- When would you like to come in?
- - When's the next available appointment?
- When would you like it to be?
- - Do you always answer a question with a question?
- Do you... um... Darn it.
- - I win! Hooray!
- I just couldn't get it turned around in time. *sigh* But really, when do you want to come in? I don't think we can see you today.
- - How's Tuesday?
Appointment-making nitty-gritty ensued.

It wasn't until he read back the date that I realized I'd chosen St. Patrick's Day to get my eyes checked.


Today's earrings: diamonds, garnets

Bedtime Reading: Fool, Christopher Moore

Wha...?

[phone rings]
- Hello
- - Hello, may I speak to [My Name].
- Who's calling please?
- - This is H--- F-----.
- No, seriously?


H--- F----- is either a half-cousin or a step-cousin. I believe I last saw him when Nixon was president. Ford at the latest. Anyway, he's on a find-the-relatives kick. I was the first one on the list, he said. He wants everyone's addresses. He seemed to be who he said he was, and all, but I thought I should check in with you all before I gave your address to a guy I haven't seen in at least 30 years, so I told him to email me and I'd send along what I have. I got his email address if you want it.

Actual phone call

- Hello
[gap]
- - Hello
- Hello?
- - Hello, is this Mrs. John?*
- Who's calling, please?
- - This is Name, from Pseudo-Patriotic Group, and I'm calling to talk about the ACLU's latest threat to America.
- [Draws breath to point out that the real threat to America comes from the people who brought us the FISA bill.]
- - May I speak to Elton?**
- [Burst of laughter]
- - Uhm...
- Elton John? You're calling for Elton John? [laughter] I've never met him, though I do admire his songwriting.
- - Oh, I guess I have the wrong number. Sorry. [click]

I'm trying to figure out whether that was 100% prank call, or whether some bizarre chain of events led to a Pseudo-Patriotic Group getting my phone number with Elton John's name attached and then handing that section of their call list to someone for whom the name "Elton John" rang no bells.

It's good to start the day with a laugh.

__________________________________
*Not quite my surname.
**Not my name, at all.