Got a note today from Tiger

He thanked me for his Christmas present, and his papa's present, but he didn't say whether his mom had gotten hers. I hope she did.

And, did you know? he's got ice skates. That kid is awesome.


Today's earrings: dragonflies, other dragonflies

Bedtime reading: Space Chantey, R.A. Lafferty

Name that epic

Previously in Space Chantey, the war ended. Captain Roadstrum, along with the captains and crews of five Hornets, decide to make a brief stop on Lotophage before starting home for World. [creepy music] They stay rather longer than intended. [/creepy music] Only two Hornets lift off - the rest of the crews could not be roused from their stupor.

The neglected Hornets must set down for repairs. The only rock within range is Lamos of the Laestrygonians. The Laestrygonians might be a species of Groll's Trolls... but much larger. The Laestrygonians feast them well, then insist upon a battle to the death, interrupted only by a good lunch. Night falls as Roadstrum and Bjorn the head troll, the last survivors of the terrible fight, kill each other in a rousing duel. Valkyries carry the bodies of the warriors from the field. In the morning, the dead awaken, and sit down for another excellent feast.

Roadstrum and his men return to their Hornets to find that repairs had been effected by a young Laestrygonian during the previous day's battle. Roadstrum invites the repairman to travel with them, and off they go - but not until the Laestrygonians remove the World-men's tongues.

Tonight's episode: The Hornets enter a field of asteroids that bear a striking resemblance to golden cattle of the sun.


Today's earrings: pigs, green teardrops

Bedtime reading: Space Chantey, R.A. Lafferty

A bit cloudy here

Still trying to process the llama = gun thing. And the spitting.

Ooh, Cricket, if it's story ideas the kid wants, you could point him toward Lang's varicolored compendia. Lots of stories.


Today's earrings: monkeys, rocks

Bedtime reading: Space Chantey, R.A. Lafferty

I was wrapping up at work

...and just about had a seizure when I realized Newbie was standing next to my desk, watching me. I pulled off the headphones, and she said she was sorry for startling me, but she was sure I'd been listening to some nation's budget speech and making diligent notes and hadn't wanted to interrupt. But she did need to ask about a column header.

Ever had someone describe you to you, and in doing so, they reveal that their conception of you has fuck-all to do with the you you know?

I told her the name of the column header. I told her the sounds in my headphones were Blondie, singing "One Way Or Another;" the notes I was making were on where to pick up tomorrow morning so I could finish cleaning up the mess I made on Saturday. I printed out a copy of my handy-dandy column header cheat sheet for her. Then I left.

I'm still not sure whether she's beaming it in from a parallel dimension, or if it's all a massive put-on.


Today's earrings: bees, typewriter keys

Bedtime reading: Silence Observed, Michael Innes

What do llamas mean?

Seriously. What is the modern symbolism of the llama? I went looking around the web, and as best I can gather, they're supposed to symbolize stolidity and material well-being, much like cows do in bovifocal societies. But... llamas are cute and frivolously fluffy. I'm having trouble with the junction.

What do llamas mean to you, dear reader?


Today's earrings: llamas, lizards

Bedtime reading: Silence Observed, Michael Innes

Not a Peep

Today's earrings: mice, turtles

Bedtime reading: Silence Observed, Michael Innes

Bliss

Imaginary objects are subject to the Intellectual Property Rights agreements, a subject of which I (happily) know little.


Today's earrings: flies, amber

Bedtime reading: Devil-May-Care, Elizabeth Peters

Babes in the woods

Pep, I need more information about this picture of your family tree. If hand-drawn, it'd fall in 4906 (PLANS AND DRAWINGS FOR ARCHITECTURAL, ENGINEERING, INDUSTRIAL, COMMERCIAL, TOPOGRAPHICAL OR SIMILAR PURPOSES, BEING ORIGINALS DRAWN BY HAND; HAND-WRITTEN TEXTS; PHOTOGRAPHIC REPRODUCTIONS ON SENSITISED PAPER AND CARBON COPIES OF THE FOREGOING); if otherwise printed, it'd fall in 4911 (OTHER PRINTED MATTER, INCLUDING PRINTED PICTURES AND PHOTOGRAPHS). But in either case, if it's over 100 years old, it'd go in 9706 (ANTIQUES OF AN AGE EXCEEDING ONE HUNDRED YEARS).


Today's earrings: pines, leaves

Bedtime reading: Devil-May-Care, Elizabeth Peters

Now I'm having trouble seeing the forest

To answer my esteemed commentariat:

• If an oak tree fell in the forest, and in doing so crossed an international border into the customs territory of a country which uses the World Customs Organization's Harmonized System, it would fall under subheading 4403 (WOOD IN THE ROUGH, WHETHER OR NOT STRIPPED OF BARK OR SAPWOOD, OR ROUGHLY SQUARED).
• If a wooden shoe tree fell in the forest under the aforementioned conditions, it would fall under subheading 4421 (OTHER ARTICLES OF WOOD).
• If a live lemon tree, suitable for planting, fell in the forest under the aforementioned conditions, it would fall under subheading 0602 (OTHER LIVE PLANTS (INCLUDING THEIR ROOTS), CUTTINGS AND SLIPS; MUSHROOM SPAWN).
• If poultry fell in the forest under the aforementioned conditions, it would fall under either 0105 (LIVE POULTRY, THAT IS TO SAY, FOWLS OF THE SPECIES GALLUS DOMESTICUS, DUCKS, GEESE, TURKEYS AND GUINEA FOWLS) or 0207 (MEAT, AND EDIBLE OFFAL, OF THE POULTRY OF HEADING 0105, FRESH, CHILLED OR FROZEN), or possibly 9705 (COLLECTIONS AND COLLECTORS' PIECES OF ZOOLOGICAL, BOTANICAL, MINERALOGICAL, ANATOMICAL, HISTORICAL, ARCHAEOLOGICAL, PALAEONTOLOGICAL, ETHNOGRAPHIC OR NUMISMATIC INTEREST).
  
• If a decision tree inscribed on a CD fell in the forest under the aforementioned conditions, it would fall under subheading 8523 (DISCS, TAPES, SOLID-STATE NON-VOLATILE STORAGE DEVICES, "SMART CARDS" AND OTHER MEDIA FOR THE RECORDING OF SOUND OR OF OTHER PHENOMENA, WHETHER OR NOT RECORDED, INCLUDING MATRICES AND MASTERS FOR THE PRODUCTION OF DISCS, BUT EXCLUDING PRODUCTS OF CHAPTER 37).
• If a Lego tree fell in the forest under the aforementioned conditions, it would fall under subheading 9503 (TRICYCLES, SCOOTERS, PEDAL CARS AND SIMILAR WHEELED TOYS; DOLLS' CARRIAGES; DOLLS; OTHER TOYS; REDUCED-SIZE ("SCALE") MODELS AND SIMILAR RECREATIONAL MODELS, WORKING OR NOT; PUZZLES OF ALL KINDS)
• If the Stanford Tree fell in the forest under the aforementioned conditions, it would fall under the jurisdiction of the local immigration authority.

I don't really know why the Malaysian government is so interested in the subject. But how I know is that their chapter on wood is about 3000 lines long. (For comparison, the US chapter is about 500 lines, and the India chapter is about 200 lines.) Malaysia specifies 93 different kinds of wood by name under each size and grade of timber. It's obsessive. It's almost as bad as Pakistan on car parts or Argentina on beef.


Today's earrings: diamonds, dice

Bedtime reading: Devil-May-Care, Elizabeth Peters

What I learned today

The Malaysian government is very, very (very) interested in lumber. Very interested.


Today's earrings: turtles, other turtles

Bedtime reading: The Atlantic, January/February 2008

Striped Maple

Image from http://mareltrout.net/gardens/Plants2.cfm?PlantID=22


Today's earrings: Moose, wood rounds

Bedtime reading: The Atlantic, January/February 2008

It's a jungle out there

Poor Kit. I do hate these team challenges.


Today's earrings: monkeys, alligators

Bedtime reading: The Atlantic, January/February 2008

Forward Planning

I think I've decided what I'm going to do for Lent this year. I think I shall resolve to eat breakfast every day. With luck, this will start a chain reaction that ends with less insomnia. It'll be a major change, though. I haven't eaten breakfast regularly since grade school.


Today's earrings: bees, typewriter keys

Bedtime reading: The Atlantic, January/February 2008

Half day

Went in late today, d/t digestive upset. [/tmi] Turns out I'd actually missed something that morning, and they wanted my input, since it's my project and all. I felt needed. But I didn't get a chance to answer all my email... sorry.


Today's earrings: hands, basketweave spoons

Bedtime reading: Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman

Today, I employed an unusual strategy

I chose my earrings to match my outfit, and for no other reason. Looked good, too.


Today's earrings: turquoise, aqua swirls

Bedtime reading: The Great War and Modern Memory, Paul Fussell

Refreshment of the Spirit

Most of television is drama. Lots of conflict, even in the comedies. And somewhere along the line, someone decided the agony of defeat was way more interesting than the thrill of victory. I hope people don't really like watching others humiliated nearly as much as network executives think we do.

But the Food Network is different. The Food Network is all about competence. All day, all night, they've got pros showing off their competence, maybe trying to impart some of it to their audience. Even the competition coverage is all about how well all the contestants are doing. They go to the Pillsbury Bake-off, and it's all about what a tough job the judges have choosing among the yumminess. Or it's the national cake decorating contest, and the other contestants talk about how Jane Sweet's effort totally deserves a win it's so good, except, did you see that amazing piping work on Sugar Plum's cake? On the Food Network, even Anthony Bourdain goes positive, raving about sausage off a roadside grill, or the delights of getting liquored up with the locals, and how much he loves his job.

Tonight I watched two episodes of Ace of Cakes. The "drama" consisted of a total lack of artistic inspiration for frosting magnolias, the boss hiring a bagpiper to serenade his employees, and some sliding icing. All of which got resolved in time for punctual deliveries. The rest was just watching a bunch of amusingly pleasant people do good work in good company. Oh, and produce an edible replica of Skull Island with volcano, villagers, and one scary-ass King Kong. Such a lovely antidote to the rest of television...


Today's earrings: sapphires, estrogen molecules

Bedtime reading: Voter Information Pamphlet and Sample Ballot, San Francisco Department of Elections

So disappointed

I thought this was the episode when that whiny, arrogant brat would go away... but they auf'd Kevin instead. So sad. Unfortunately, the judges were pretty much right, as far as the dresses went. But still - Christian needs to leave, and if at all possible join the Trappist Monks.


Today's acquisitions: 1 watch

Today's earrings: ants, stones

Bedtime reading: The Great War and Modern Memory, Paul Fussell

My watch stopped...

...so I guess it'll be right twice a day from now on. ;)


Today's earrings: skeletal fish

Bedtime reading: The Great War and Modern Memory, Paul Fussell

Up Side of the Writers Strike

American Gladiators is back, and in network prime time. It's like the world is suddenly in VistaVision.


Today's earrings: compasses

Bedtime reading: The Great War and Modern Memory, Paul Fussell

Google score

I went looking on "alligator boots," then "armadillo purse," then hit the jackpot with "ostrich purse."


It's like Fabergé... except ostrich. And a purse.


Today's earrings: boots, alligators

Bedtime reading: Thud!, Terry Pratchett

Nothing much happened today.

So here's a picture of a rabbit with a waffle on its head.


Today's earrings: turtles, other turtles

Bedtime reading: Thud!, Terry Pratchett

Lunch with the Tiger

And the Tiger's charming parents, too. They'd been on cable cars and trolleys and ships. I'd been at work. After lunch, they went to ride another cable car. I went back to work.

Vacation > Not Vacation.


Today's earrings: monkeys, typewriter keys

Bedtime reading: Thud!, Terry Pratchett

Dunno why, but this has been in my head lately, along with "Moses Supposes"

Security Officer: I'm sorry, but you're not on the guest list.
David Addison: That's because we're not guests. We're looking for a man with a mole on his nose.
Security Officer: A mole on his nose?
Maddie Hayes: A mole on his nose.
Security Officer: [to Maddie] What kind of clothes?
Maddie Hayes: [to David] What kind of clothes?
David Addison: What kind of clothes do you suppose?
Security Officer: What kind of clothes do I suppose would be worn by a man with a mole on his nose? Who knows?
David Addison: Did I happen to mention, did I bother to disclose, that this man that we're seeking with the mole on his nose? I'm not sure of his clothes or anything else, except he's Chinese, a big clue by itself.
Maddie Hayes: How do you do that?
David Addison: Gotta read a lot of Dr. Seuss.
Security Officer: I'm sorry to say, I'm sad to report, I haven't seen anyone at all of that sort. Not a man who's Chinese with a mole on his nose with some kind of clothes that you can't suppose. So get away from this door and get out of this place, or I'll have to hurt you - put my foot in your face.

- - Moonlighting, via IMDB


Today's earrings: lobsters, suns

Bedtime reading: Thud!, Terry Pratchett

Happy New Year!

Today's earrings: scarabs

Bedtime reading: Thud!, Terry Pratchett